


Make Sure She Matters

by firelordizumi



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Brotp, F/M, Gen, she's not dead but he THINKS she is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-30
Updated: 2015-01-30
Packaged: 2018-03-09 16:35:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3256847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firelordizumi/pseuds/firelordizumi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-Boiling Rock, Zuko has some processing to do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Make Sure She Matters

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on tumblr on 11/26/13, which seems like an eternity ago.

Zuko is glad that they’re on an airship this time. The travel time is cut in half and their hands are so full between the five of them that he doesn’t have to focus on (or talk to anyone about) anything except the vessel’s operations. When they land, he still manages to smile at the Water Tribe family’s reunion and raises no objection when the smallest Earth Kingdom boy proposes a celebration of sorts to welcome the new arrivals. He wants nothing more than to finally be alone, but he stays because there’s really nowhere else that makes sense to go right now. He doesn’t want to wander the abandoned temple because he doesn’t need reminding of how it became abandoned in the first place and his room is too sparse, too small, a bit too much like where he spent the past couple of nights to hold much appeal. 

So he stays and listens as Sokka recounts the last few days, holding the rest of the group in thrall and gesticulating emphatically at particularly exciting moments. The other escapees interject as they see fit, correcting or clarifying when the young warrior’s tale demands it. Only Zuko remains silent, rising abruptly when he realizes that they’ve reached a point in the story that he has no interest in hearing. 

Sokka pauses and looks up at him, slightly curious.

“I’m tired,” the prince responds. It comes out like a challenge. 

Sokka shrugs as if to say “Suit yourself,” but Zuko notices something beyond that in the other boy’s eyes, something that he can’t quite read. He pretends he hasn’t seen it, nods good night to the rest of the group, and proceeds to descend the nearest set of steps as quickly as he can without plummeting to his death off the cliffside.

Apparently that’s not quick enough because the last things he can make out distinctly are “Gloomy knives girl” and “Get this – they used to date!”

_I did have a girlfriend. Mai._

If, by some miracle, he ever sees her again, what would he say? Thank you? I’m sorry? It wouldn’t be enough, he thinks, nor would it be what she deserves. It’s conscious, the way he refers to her, how she still is, because every time he considers the alternative, everything around him goes silent and he can’t breathe.

Eventually, he reaches some kind of platform smoothed over with cobblestones and protected from the worst of the wind by the cliff above it. He figures it’s as good a place as any to address the creeping dread he’s been trying to push back ever since he stopped to look back across the bubbling water.

_My sister was on that island._

He has no idea what happened after they got off that gondola, but he’s had more than enough time to come up with a few guesses. He knows better than most people what Azula is capable of, and he also knows that her threats have never been idle.

He wants to scream until his throat is raw, to shoot fire out of his limbs (How. How does she do it?) and propel himself back toward that prison, somehow find out what happened to Mai and get. Her. Out. One way or another.

Mostly, he wants to stop feeling so Agni-damned helpless.

Now the tears come, hot and biting. Eventually, the heaving of his chest forces him to his knees, his hands gripping onto the stones beneath him. When he can’t seem to cry anymore, he gets to his feet and walks from one end of the back of the platform to the other, his head and heart full of memories, full of her. He has no idea how much time has passed before he hears footsteps behind him, stops pacing and turns to find the Water Tribe boy descending the steps to meet him.

“Party’s over,” Sokka says. “Are you OK?”

Zuko is too exhausted to make denials of any kind. “Does it look like I am?”

“Is it Mai?”

He slumps his shoulders and sits down again. “Yes. Was it that obvious?”

Sokka walks over and sits beside him, his feet dangling off the edge of the platform. “I never knew her aside from all the times she flung knives at me, but she must have cared about you a lot to save us. All of us. I imagine your sister wasn’t happy with her.”

“No,” Zuko says softly. “I’m sure she wasn’t.”

“Listen, Zuko.” Sokka pauses. “I know…I know it’s hard and I know you’ll never forget what she did for us. For you. But you can always make sure that it means something, you know? She may not be the only reason you fight, but she’s why you can keep fighting. And if you ever need to talk or anything…Well, I just mean that I’ve been there.”

Zuko isn’t quite sure what to say, so he simply says, “Thank you, Sokka.”

“Any time, buddy.” He gets up and takes a step back toward the stairs.

“No, wait, I mean thank you for all that you said. About making sure she matters.”

Sokka turns and smiles. “Hey, I have my uses besides my boomerang and my razor-sharp wit.”

“I know.”

They say nothing for a long time after that, staring at the full moon now hanging directly overhead, each remembering a quiet girl’s extraordinary courage.


End file.
